Need
by TheCullenAddiction
Summary: One Shot. Wrote this awhile ago.    Bella is worried about Edwards love for her. She cant sleep and neither can he.


"_I love you Edward. Please stay with me. Please." I almost begged. I didn't want him to leave me. I couldn't live without him. I couldn't stand to be away from him now. _

_ "I'm sorry Bella. I'm not ready for this. I don't love you like that." He whispered into my ear. The he kissed my forehead and walked towards the door._

_The moment he said those words, I felt my heart breaking into a thousand pieces. I loved him and I knew he loved me too; He just wasn't ready to say it. I panicked; I did the first thing that came to my mind. As he was walking out to the door I ran up to the stage and took the microphone from the DJ. I needed to show him how much I loved him, even if that meant disrupting the party to tell him that._

_ "Edward, Wait." I started crying. I realized that everyone at the party stopped and looked at me and then to him. I asked the DJ to play the one song that's been playing in my head for weeks. He turned around looking confused. I was starring straight into his eyes as the song started playing. I didn't want to sing in front of the entire dinner party but I knew I had to. I started to sing 'Need' by Hana Pestle: _

_ "I'm not quite sure how to breathe, without you here…I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to say goodbye, to all we were. " I started. This was embarrassing. I simply didn't care about that right now though. I needed him. _

_ "Be with me, Stay with me. Let the time decide, when I won't need you..." Before I knew it there was a spotlight on both of us. I descended the stage and started walking to him. _

_ "…My hand searches for your hand, in a dark room. I can't find you; help me. Are you looking for me?" I reached for his hand and he took a minute to decide but the grabbed it. I sang through the song and he just stared at me. I couldn't tell if he got the message. _

_ "…etch this into my brain, for me. Tell me how it's supposed to be. Where everything will go, how I'll be without you by my side…"I knew I was crying. I felt the salt water run down my cheeks. _

"_My hand searches for your hand, in a dark room. I can't find you; help me. Are you looking for me?" As the song came to end the DJ changed the song in hopes to get attention off of us. No luck, all of them were indeed looking to see what would happen next._

"_I love you, Edward. I'll wait forever for you. Just please…Please, don't leave. I couldn't bear to watch you walk out those doors and walk out of my life." He pulled me into a hug. I started crying into his shoulder._

"_Bella, I can't. I'm scared every moment I'm with you. I know if I start to feel that way, something will happen and I'll lose you. I can't handle any more heart break in this life." He whispered in to my ear. He didn't want the people around us to hear._

"_I'm sorry. I have to go." He let go of me. I watched him turn and walk out the door. I started crying. I feel to the ground. Everybody was watching me just sit there in the middle of the floor crying. No one even bothered to comfort me. They just starred. _

I awoke crying and all of a sudden my door slams open and I see my sister, Alice, run into the room. She turned the lights on and ran over to me. She tried to get me to stop crying. I just couldn't. Dream or not, Hearing Edward say those word to me was horrible and I hoped I never had to hear them  
come out of his mouth again.

"It's ok Bella. It was just a dream. You're fine now." she said while sitting on the side of my bed. I knew she would want to know what the dream was about. It was a given. I could see she was holding back the question. She was probably worried that it would upset me more.

"You don't understand. It was worse than a dream. Hell, it was worse than a nightmare." I said back. I eventually stopped crying. She sat there with me waiting to make sure I was ok. She left to go get me something to drink and came back with a glass of water. Here come the questions.

"So…Do you want to talk about what you dreamt about?" She asked. She was so predictable.

"Edward." It was all I could say. She understood for two reasons. One, Everything I did and dreamt about was and will always be, Edward. Two, Dreams like this have been coming to me lately. I was worried. He seemed to be holding back lately. He has never said that he loves me. Not once.

"I think you need to talk to him." Alice was always the one for advice. I never really took it tough. Now she was right. I needed to talk to him soon. I didn't want to push him though.

School went by quickly. I was not enjoying my senior year. Especially now when all I was thinking about is what was wrong with my love, Edward. I needed to talk to him, as Alice suggested, but I didn't know how to bring it up. Every night kept getting worse. The nightmares came much quicker and they always seem to end up with me crying and him not there to help me. I did everything I could to avoid the nightmares. I stayed up late and sometimes wouldn't go to sleep at all. I hated this. I had to do something soon. I was starting to go crazy.

I was on the edge of a total breakdown. I was sitting in my room starring at the alarm clock on the dresser next to my bed, watching the time tick away. Estimated time without sleep: 3 days, 10 hours and 23 minutes and counting.

I ran into my bathroom and got dressed. I needed comfort. I needed protection. I didn't want to sit here like some psycho about to lose her mind and start yelling at random objects. I had to talk to Edward, My Edward. I didn't want to call him because it was three in the morning and I'm pretty sure his dad, Dr. Cullen, wouldn't want to hear the phone this early in the morning. So I had to do the next best thing. Go straight to him. I got in my truck and drove toward the Cullen house.

I pulled over on the side of the rode not trusting my driving while I was half asleep. I couldn't be positive but I swear I was hallucinating. I _had_ to be hallucinating. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw Edward standing there in the middle of the street. I got out of the car and He looked up at me. It looked as if he was…_Crying_? I couldn't be sure.

"Edward?" I looked up to meet his eyes. I blinked for a second and then he was just…gone. I knew it. I was hallucinating. I got back in my truck and started the car up. What was I going to say? I couldn't just walk into his room and ask him what's wrong. I turned the car on and drove. I pulled into the Cullen Driveway.

I got out and as soon as I did I saw him again. He was just sitting there. I walked towards him. I was well aware of the salt water running down my cheeks. I stopped as I heard him mutter something to himself.

"Why can't I just tell her I love her?" Obviously he didn't see me standing there. He took his hand and ran it through his hair. I stood there hoping he would say more. Even though he was my hallucination, I needed to hear him talk.

"I've loved her since I first saw her. Now were dating and I haven't told her the three simplest words to describe how I feel about her." Hallucination or not, he was also in a dilemma of his own. I couldn't bear to sit back and hear him say this. From the recent encounter with my mind's games, I find the only way to get away from the imaginary Edward was to confront him.

"Edward?" He looked up, more confused and shocked than I was. He got and stood on the last stair of the porch.

"Bella, What are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you. Or the real you…Ugh…I don't know. I came to talk to my boyfriend. I'm done with all the Imaginary Edward's walking around! I need to talk to Edward…_my_ Edward." That came out louder then I had intended it too.

I walked closer, attempting to walk past my mind into the house. Suddenly, he grabbed my waist and pulled me into his arms. This was the real Edward. I was so fucking happy that it was too. This is where I want to be forever, in the arms of my man under the stars. We eventually made it down by the lake. He never let go of me. For that I was truly thankful. We just sat there on the shore of the lake. I had so much to talk to him about, So much to ask him. But I didn't want to ruin the moment.

"Would you like to tell me what's going on?" well apparently he had no trouble ruining it.

"I was going to ask you the same thing. I haven't slept in over three days thinking about you and worrying." Maybe that was a little much. I didn't want him to feel guilty for my choice of sleep deprivation. "I just love you."

"I'm sorry. I know I haven't been myself lately. I haven't been the person you fell in love with. I'm sorry for worrying you. You shouldn't have too." He took my face in between his hands and whipped away the silent tears starting to form in my eyes. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm crying because I love you so much. You are the guy I feel in love with. Every day I see how much I love you and that's what worries me."

"Why on earth would that bother you?" UGH! He was so blind sometimes.

"Because…Because I love you…and…" I didn't know how to phrase this properly. "I don't think that's enough. You've never said 'I love you'. I don't want to lose you." I stood up and walked further to the lake's water line. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him sitting there. He ran his hand through his god-like hair. Every second of silence was more and more unbearable.

"Bella…" Before I knew it, I was back in the comfort of his arms. I starred at the moon. It holds so much symbolism for something people hardly ever care to notice. He motioned for me to look at him, but I couldn't. I couldn't look at him in fear that this was going to end up like my dreams.

"Bella? Please look at me?" I turned. I had to face the truth. "I never say it because I'm afraid once I do, something will happen and you'll leave or you'll be taken away from me. I care about you too much for anything to ever happen to you. I'm much too selfish and I always want you around. I guess I was chasing you away by not showing or telling you how much you mean to me."

"I'm not going to leave…because just like you…I myself am a selfish person. I love you."

"I…I…I love you too." And that, that right there, was all I needed. We walked back to my truck knowing I had to get home before anyone noticed my absence.


End file.
